Adult Thread

It freaks me out to think about animals masturbating because I don't see anthropomorphized version of animals, I see actual non-sentient animals that are masturbating. And that is worrisome, although some animals do masturbate, for instance, horses. And dogs get it on a lot even though they do not actually have babies, only at certain times of the month, so I guess that counts.

And monkies and dolphins.

Also, like, everything else.


Seriously, animals do it, like, constantly.

Noooooo that is gross
animals are innocent and are not influenced by their neurotransmitters; only rainbows and sunshine and forest mist

Im not posting videos of animals mastrubating, Semi, stop trying to make me.

IT'S NOT WORKING. SOURCE?

Oh my mistake
wrong link

file:///C:/Documents%20and%20Settings/ungratefulwhitechild/My%20Documents/a/b/d/schoolwork/porn/amateur/redhead/hot_cat_cock_spines_deepthroats_self_animal_lick_deep_throat_catcock_sex_auto_NO_VIRUS_mp3.avi

SEMI, THAT'S NOT HOW YOU COMPUTER.

I am afraid to follow those links

not because this is the adult thread, but more because they were posted by Semi

NOT WORKING

My best pickup line is four words.

"U WANT SUM FUK?"

Spoiler:

12:53 AM - Top Hat Zebra: Oh, she's Chalk.
12:54 AM - Lyra: yup
12:54 AM - Lyra: but older ofc
12:54 AM - Top Hat Zebra: And, oddly, more attractive.
12:55 AM - Lyra: umm
12:55 AM - Lyra: well yeah, she's not a minor
12:55 AM - Top Hat Zebra: ....
12:55 AM - Top Hat Zebra: Right.
12:56 AM - Top Hat Zebra: Yes.
12:56 AM - Top Hat Zebra: That
12:56 AM - Top Hat Zebra: is the reason why.
12:56 AM - Top Hat Zebra: *NERVOUS LOOK*

So my friend finally lost her virginity today (And yesterday...)

But that's not the important thing.

The important thing is, SHE STILL DID NOT KNOW HOW A VAGINA WORKED. I JUST HAD TO EXPLAIN IT TO HER.


WHY DO YOU GIRLS NOT KNOW HOW THAT WORKS? I'VE HAD TO EXPLAIN IT TO, LIKE, FOUR DIFFERENT WOMEN.

WHAT THE HELL?

I asked her if he was able to stimulate her clitoris, and she was like "Is that that little bumpy thingy above the hole?"

WHAT. THE. HELL.

Bro, I don't know if you should be broadcasting your friend's sexual activities on this forum. Even if we'll never actually know her, I still feel uncomfortable knowing this information, because I'm pretty sure she would care if she knew that I, a random mulatto over a thousand miles from where she lives, knew that she lost her virginity around this time.

On an unrelated note, I just saw a condom commercial that had the punchline "It's just condom courtesy."

I don't know if I should applaud this or facepalm at it. On the one hand, I really have never heard that one before so it gets creativity points. On the other hand, perhaps the reason I've never heard that pun before is because no one wants to use it.

Perhaps. If she were a member. Or even knew that this forum existed. Or I mentioned names.

As is, it just as easily could have been something I simply made up, to prove a point. The point being WHY DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW HOW THE HUMAN BODY WORKS?

THAT IS ONE OF THE MOST BASIC THINGS YOU CAN EVER HAVE TO LEARN.

I know for a fact that I have not seen that commercial, and yet, for some reason, that sounds sort of familiar...

Heh. Condom courtesy. I quite like it.

I really hope it doesn't sound familiar because I said it once.

Lack of knowledge about health and sexual health in particular is very common.

Alright, so imagiine this scenario that I came up with my friends at lunch today.

You're coming home to your romantic partner.

You walk to your bedroom

You find them in bed with someone else.

Enraged, you march over to the bed and pull the covers off of them both.

And then you see it

You see that your wife/husband is having sex with you.

What do you do?

Jump in with them? I bet I'm a great lay.

at first, I'd mostly be very confused (as would the "me"in bed, probably)
but perhaps I'd follow Jonny's example

Determine what type of 'me' he is. Alternate universe me? Kick some ass. Seriously alternate universe me, not cool. 100% identical clone me? No hard feelings, but who cloned me and for what purpose? I'd have to find out with the help of my wacky sidekick - myself!

great, just what we need, more raptors eating other forum members

Gorgro wrote:Determine what type of 'me' he is. Alternate universe me? Kick some ass. Seriously alternate universe me, not cool. 100% identical clone me? No hard feelings, but who cloned me and for what purpose? I'd have to find out with the help of my wacky sidekick - myself!

No man. Not a clone, or a version of you from another universe. I'm talking about facing the mirror. Seeing a being that is you Despite the fact that you are you.
Think with the mind of an autistic stoner here.

Think Gangers from The Rebel Flesh.