NEW RPG: The SQUIRTLES THE F^&*%e^% SQUIRTLES!

On a nearby rock formation, a stout figure watched the fight play out.
This is a wyvvern, the second to smallest dragon species in existence and ,ironically, one of the most dangerous. most have emerald green colored scales and are a foot shorter then a full grown man. They can stand upright and have no arms, just wings that have claws used for climbing trees.
The fact that their so small gives them the ability to fly faster then most dragons. The arrow shaped end of the wyvvern not only makes it more aerodynamic, but adds another weapon to a wyvvern's arsenal.
Their scales are as strong as steel and heat resident, making them hard to kill. In between their teeth they propulsive leave small chunks of meat that rot and gives their bite the effect of a komodo dragon's. They don't have a good fire breathing ability, but can bellow a large amount of smoke that acts as a smokescreen.
One of their most dangerous attributes is that they have the agility of a ninja, so they can doge just about every attack you throw at them.
This wyvvern's name was Skywing, and she was the leader of the Wyvvern Strike Team, and elite forces of wyvverns that could take on almost any opponent.
She cast a spell that summoned her men.
"Five minutes," she said, 'Five minuets."

(Wait, SB, you can talk English. I made you tell us about the squirtles that surrounded Tuomey's cave, remember?)

(also, i'm doing a big post today, cuz I got an idea for the story)

Someguy noticed Esbiate come up to him, obviously trying to thank him for saving his life. He scratched him behind the ears a bit, and he saw that the little guy liked it. He then got up, drank the root beer bottle and went to the dragon. He placed his hand on the creature's neck, and told the group:

"I still feel a pulse, but it's weak...it's probably knocked out for a day or two...guess we better follow JT, he seems to have found a way. Besides, it's better than nothing..."

The group followed the ninja master, which was using his senses to find a path through the wasteland. The walk lasted many hours, and everyone was tired near the end of the day. Finally, JT showed the group a cave and told them that they will all sleep in there for the night. Everyone got comfy and went to bed on the solid ground, even JT, because, although ninjas need little sleep, they still need to rest at least once a month, and it was that time. Someguy laid on his side and drifted off to a nice night of sleep...

...and was woken up in the morning by a kick in the stomach and a voice saying:

"Rise and shine, fellas!"

Someguy lifted his head up and saw the "Wartortle" and a small group of turtles with guns pointed at him, the ninja, the wizard, Dewmann and even Esbiate. He reached for his gun, but realized in horror that the turtles took all of their weapons away while they were sleeping. The tiring walk must have made them all heavy sleepers. The Wartortle spoke up:

"We were looking for you bunch ever since you left us so rudely. and now that we found you, we don't even know what to do with you guys! So if you'll excuse me for a second..."

He pulls out what looks like a phone, dials a quick number and puts it near his ear. He then says:

"Lord Jonny? I have some good news to tell you...yes, we found the group. We're waiting for your next order, sir. What do we do with them?"

(Well, Jonny, you evil fiend? What will your troops do with us?)

(Oh, and I didn't notice you wrote before me, katls, so now it looks like your dragon dudes are slow. hire some new ones =P )

the robot yawned as she attempted to relax at the entrance to the underground lab. she liked sitting outside because it was exactly at the position that she was protected from incoming asteroids but could still see the surrounding universe.
still she was unsettled, she returned to the lab to once again study the countdown timer. only 50 hours, 36 minutes and 23 seconds remaining. she was excited about this, the first thing to happen in... when she tried to think back the word: CORRUPTED appeared on her viewing screen.
"Damnit, it always always always happens." she stomped her foot on the ground and knocked on her metal head, which made a distinctly hollow sound.
a computer behind her made a blip noise that caused the robotaco to jump out of her shell, metaphorically of course.
she immediately turned to investigate the sound.
(anyone care to suggest what i find?)

(a convenient meteor exploding bomb, so we wont all die in 50 hours?)

someguy3657 wrote:(a convenient meteor exploding bomb, so we wont all die in 50 hours?)

(no, i have to have some way of getting to u guys lol. besides, i'm sure you'll get to the fortress in time lolsies)

((I am still here, just reading over everything and waiting for a good time to enter the story))

(well, how about now? your troops just captured us and asked you what to do next...)

(oh god we all have writers block!)

While the Children were walking, around 20 wyvvern were flying far above them.
"Why can't we just strike them now and get our Queen back?" said Whitefang, the newest member of the Wyvvern Strike Team. So new in fact, that this is his first field mission.
"Because they would have the advantage out in the open. But if we wait until they rest, then we will have the advantage and the element of surprise on our side," said Skywing.
Whitefang growled in annoyance, for he was eager to return the throne to Luna. I mean, who wants Arrow to be King? No one, not even Luna.
When the Children rested, so did the Wyvvern Strike Squad. They cast spells on them selves so that when they slept, they would blend in with their surroundings. Whitefang waited until everyone was asleep. Then he crept into the cave. He dragged Luna to the back of the cave and woke her with a spell that he whispered in her ear, not wanting to wake the others.
"Uhg, what happened?" Luna said weakly.
"You where attacked," Whitefang replied.
"Well, your the first one to rescue me eh?"
"We haven't saved you yet, I had to disobey orders to get to you right now. Everyone else is outside, resting before trying getting you out of here."
"Whitefang, always the one to jump ahead without asking. Well you better go outside before Skywing wakes up. Your gonna be in lot of trouble if your still here by sunrise."
Whitefang crept out, took his position and slept.
Luna stayed in the back of the cave and tried to figure out how long until the meteor strikes.
Two days from now. That will be plenty of time to fly back to the colony.
Luna woke up to a squitle pointing a plasma pistol at her forehead.
The cave was infiltrated by Jonny's troops, and unluckily for Luna, one of them went to the back of cave.
But she wasn't afraid at all, in fact, she was kind of glad.
She wrestled it to the ground and covered it mouth. She quietly cast a spell and all of the sqiutle's life energy flowed into her.
“Hey Keral, did you find something back there?” a voice called to the back of the cave.

((So I have two groups, one attacking Katls and one attacking everyone else? Godsdamnit, it's so hard to keep track of your evil minions nowadays.))

The Wartortle leered at the group, and folded his arms. "Just letting you know that the meteor has increased speed. It seems to be made of some sort of superdense material. Not enough to affect this planet's orbit, but enough to make your situation a lot harder. Anyway, goodbye".

And with that they left. They left the weapons behind.

((I question flying creatures on Mars. I'll give you that gravity's a lot lower, but flight is achieved by creating differences in air pressure, and Mars' atmosphere is almost nonexistent (average surface air pressure is less than a percent of Earth's).)) []

((You can bloody breath in it, JT, don't complain about what others can do in that atmosphere))

((bah...as you will.))

JT seriously considered stabbing one of the weapons the minions had left behind, but it might be of use. He was caught off guard and did not want to endanger the others by starting a firefight in a cave, so he had let them walk off unchallenged. Well, almost. Speed and angle, not air resistance, he thought as he launched a tracking shuriken at the last of the creatures to leave. Just as he did so, he picked up a small stone and aimed it at the base of the creature's helmet. The two hit simultaneously. The minion turned around and made a very rude hand gesture at the ninja, but did not seem to notice that he had been struck twice.

"We should continue toward our destination," he said, looking out at the landscape. "If I am right, we are very near the Sojourner vehicle. If we can repair it, it may afford us some transport. He felt a slight disturbance at the back of the cave, but thought nothing of it. []

SECONDARY ENGINE MALFUNCTION
the words flashed red on the monitor, and at the same moment the meteor seemed to stop, or at least slow. since there was no friction in space it couldn't actually stop. but the impact of the engine shutting down was enough to knock the tacobot to the floor.
she got up just as another alarm blared, this time it was more insistent.
a computerized voice spoke through the computers: "WARNING INCOMING DEBRIS DETECTED"
without thinking she said out loud: "Show me"
the monitor screen minimized to the bottom corner, revealing a vast window to the outside of the meteor. but that wasnt the reason that the taco bot gasped in dismay. the meteor was dead in the water, drifting into an asteroid belt. "Run a Diagnostic on the secondary engines!" immediately the bottom corner of the screen turned green then blinked with the words: "diagnostic complete... maintenance required on the third deck... send maintenance android?"
"hell yeah! i dont want to be smashed by asteroids."
"dispatching android."
"good thing i dont have to worry about it... not like i kno how to fix an engine." green words flickered in her own vision screen "take the elevator to the third deck." simultaneously the monitor blinked at her: "maintenance android dispatched"
"... GODAMNIT!"

lights blinked on at each level as she descended in the elevator, in the past few days she's been noticing that more areas of the meteor were becoming active, areas that had been locked were now open. it was waking up, tho what that meant exactly the tacobot still had no idea.
at last the elevator slowed to a stop and the doors opened, as she stepped out the lights flickered on. a sign in front of her made a sound that reminded her of an old computer starting up, then a voice that sounded like a game show host started talking:
"HELLO, and welcome to the third deck of the albatross! please feel free to access the many tour terminals like this one for free tour suggestions or any other questions you may have."
"um... where's the engine room?" she asked it.
"Follow me!" a green arrow suddenly appeared on the floor pointing her onward. the tacobot shrugged, it wasnt like she had a better plan.

she followed the green arrow not even 5 steps before the thing started talking to her again.
"to the left you will see the engineer mess hall, do you want to kno why they call it the mess hall? because it is very messy there HAHA" the laughter sounded prerecorded, even more so than the rest of its dialogue.
"..." the tacobot wouldn't even dignify it with a response. the arrow suddenly vanished and was replaced by an exclamation point."
"What? that wasnt funny?"
"wait... you're alive?"
"No, i'm an A.I. unit assigned to the tour sections of the albatross, my programing involves humor, sarcasm, and the office."
"i like that show." the arrow reappeared on a wall next to her telling her to turn right. "do you have a name then?"
"yes, i am B.U.R.RI.T.O.C.I.R.C.L.E or as i am often called: burrito circle."
"oh really? i'm tacoline! it stands for the robot taco being online, so they just called me tacoline." this memory was uncorrupted, so her name was at least known to her.
"interesting, and you are here to fix the engine?"
"yeah, though idk how."
"are you not a maintenance android?" the game show host voice asked.
"I guess... but most of my memory files are corrupted."
"interesting... you are here now. please feel free to visit the gift shop on your way out... sorry i have to say that."
she looked up at the large red door, a keypad to the side was obviously the way in. but she didnt kno the code.
"let me get that." burrito circle said, after a moment the keypad light switched on to green and the door in front of the tacobot opened. "Good luck!" said the characteristically cheery game show host voice.
the door closed behind her as soon as she entered, her veiw screen was able to identify the different parts of the engine, they showed up green. she paced down between the machinery that was now still. but a memory came to her of this exact room with the machinery moving rapidly up and down, steam exiting the pipes as exhaust.
"great... so i remember this place... but i cant fix it." a sound caught her attention a constant banging noise that seemed out of place. even though it was an engine room, if the engine didnt work, then there shouldn't be any noise. "what the hell?"
she followed it to a large gear at the back of the room, as she neared it her veiw screen focused in on the site and identified an area on the large gear as: "AN OBSTRUCTION"
she approached it and after looking down the shaft she could see something shiny that was out of place from the surrounding rusted metal. she leaned down but the metal bit was just out of her reach. she had to get on her stomach to reach it. she was just able to touch it when she heard the gear suddenly move. she froze in place realizing that if the gear moved it would crush her in this spot. but if she didnt get the metal bit out shed be smashed up by the asteroids instead. so she reached again for the metal bit.
she got a hold of it and started to pull, it started to slide out. but the gear began to move downward pulling taco and the metal bit inward. she braced herself and gave it one final pull then gasped. the metal bit she was pulling out of the gear was a metal arm, much like her own. she wasn't paying attention and the gear pulled her into the shaft.
she fell and instinctively reached out clawing onto anything. her hands grasped a handle, she gripped it for dear life. she had grabbed onto a handle that was inbetween to parts of the gear, that was now spinning. as it lowered her she looked down to see the dislodged bits of metal in a lake of burning furl beneath her. it was another "maintenance android" like her, but this one was... dead. its empty eyes stared up at her as it melted into the fuel below. taco barely had enough thought to press herself up against the handle so she could squeeze up to the engine room.
on solid ground she felt sick as the words on her veiwscreen blinked green: ENGINES ONLINE... SPEED RESTORED TO 150%
NEW ETA: 35 HOURS

(explaining how the meteor is now faster than before)

((That computer system seems designed by Douglas Adams...))

Tuomey said he agreed with JT and, setting a stone - which then lit up - in the top of his staff, set off towards the vehicle.

SB joined 2me and the ninja in inspecting the vehicle. He licked his paw and brushed up the fur on his head to make himself look adequately smarter. Seeing as how it drooped back over his eyes immediately after, he realised he needed some form of haircut.
((Case above both RPG and a Real Life occurrence!))

"Shall we dispatch the Scissorbot to give the blue dog a haircut?" enquired the waiter from before.

Jonny gave this some thought. "A good idea, but I suspect that ninja would destroy it. I am going to exercise caution at this stage: the group seems confident that they can survive by themselves and prove themselves to be a formidable foe. However, kindly do two things for me. One: prep a team to intercept the meteor: I want to know as much about it as possible. Also, the Squirtle squad that met the team just now seem to be being tracked, although I'm not sure".

They found Sojourner more or less where JT expected to find it. Unfortunately, it was...rather smaller than JT would have liked, only 65 centimeters long by 48 centimeters wide. Someone forgot to do his ninja homework. "Were we all the size of our blue companion, this might suit us, however, it seems this vehicle, even if repaired, is too small to be of much use to us." []

"Unless..." said someguy. He turned to the wizard and asked: "Are growth spells easy? You could make this car big enough for all of us..."

JT_the_Ninja wrote:((That computer system seems designed by Douglas Adams...))

(thank you, although i hadn't meant that XD)

"Weeeell.. I can make it bigger but it won't be as structurally solid. Still driveable but we'd have to be careful." Tuomey said, adjusting his staff and pointing it at the machine. It slowly began to grow until it was about the size of a people carrier.

"Remember, crashing is bad." Tuomey said, climbing aboard.

"So can we fix it?" Dewmann asked. "And if so, who's driving? The autopilot probably won't be as useful now that the size of the whole thing is bigger."