NEW RPG: The SQUIRTLES THE F^&*%e^% SQUIRTLES!

(just remember: LAHHHZERS)
(oh and i rly cant post anything till u dudes crash the meteor btw)

(might update soon. but update too, guys, and dont let it die!)

The Black Beast lumbered down the tunnel with one thing on his mind: get to the throne room. He had to end this madness before it got serous. His daughter didn't know what she was doing when she allowed herself to be Athena the DA specter's host.
Suddenly, the Beast felt something the that can cut far better then anything you can buy on late night television for $19.99 slash against his side.
When he turned to face his attacker, he saw a Cyrene dragon. This dragon breed is misnamed, considering that the city that the breed is named after is in Africa, wile Cryene dragons are European dragons, but they were named this because of the fact that the most famous of their breed, St. George's dragon, lived nearby there. They are the second largest dragon breed there is, and the second strongest as well. Their scales are stronger then titanium and are lighter then aluminum foil. What they lack in scale weight, they make up in muscles. They weigh over 2 tons and tower over 12 feet at the shoulder. That may be several thousand tons lighter and several miles shorter then the largest dragon breed, that's still pretty big by dragon standards. At the end of their 5 feet long tail, at razor bladed barb shaped like a poorly forged dagger blade. Due to the fact that by some quirk of nature that their scales are not fire resistant, they have long, thick necks. Another interesting feature of their bodies that they aren't magic resistant, making it so that they are easily changed by Element Stones, making it common that they would ingest them so that they could add impurities in their fire.
"Your head is mine, demon," the Cyrene dragon growled.

(Yay the RPG is alive again! =D )

((I'm very sorry I haven't contributed in ages. That damn university education got in the way))

((Epilepsy, etc, count me out, I got stuck in a bar or something.))

A metal bar descended from the heavens lodging itself in Tuomey's skull. He was so preoccupied with it he completely forgot about all other events.

Then he pulled it out of his head, threw a shiny ring in one direction and jumped up the flameless dragon thing while the Nazgul was distracted, flew into Mordor, killed a couple thousand orcs, flew back to Osgiliath and went to help in the defense of Minas Tirith, competing with Gandalf to see which wizard would win in wiping the floor with the weak weird orcs.

(lol wut?)

((Exactly the response I wanted. All done.))

(... and then a meteor hit! jk)\
(if it would help anyone with storyline issues, can the meteor hit now? i can write it out.)

(not yet, I wanna add a part first, then you are free to crash. can't add now, thought, rather busy)

The Cyrene dragon charged at The Black Beast full speed.
The Beast thought fast and cast a spell. The ground in front of the Beast roze into a wall. The Beast knew that the wall would not stop the Cyrene dragon, but he knew that it would slightly delay his opponet for a peresus fraction of a second that can lower the amount of contact, thus lowering how much damage will be delt.
The Beast tried to scamble out of the way, but the Cryene dragon crashed through the earth wall and he slamed into The Beast's side.
They tumbled into a wall. The Beast felt the wind knocked out of him as he was samwiched inbetween 2 tons of an maruding dragon and a solid wall made red with the rusted iron that crunched under his wight.
The Cryene dragon took the opituity to slash his opponet rapidly across his torso with his slickle-like talons. The Beast let out an agonized cry as the wounds burned. He realized that the Cyrene dragon had ingested a fire Eliment Stone, meaning that breathing fire on him was out of the question, and clawing him was out of the question as well due to the Cryene dragon famusly stong sceles. He couldn't cast a spell under this much stress.
It's over, the Beast thought. He alowed his body to go limp.
The Cryene dragon reconized this a sinal of surrender. He lifted his head head high and let out a triumpent roar that ecoed off the walls. He bared his fangs and began to lunge for the Beast's neck.
"Step away from him Bladetail, you can collect your trophy later." called a faimier voice.
Oh no, the Beast thought. He did meen to find her, but not under these curcomtanis.
He look to the dragon that the voice belonged to. It was Luna, wearing a dark grin.
"So father, you came back."
(Sorry, I'll profread this later.)

"...where'd that guy come from, anyways?"

"I don't know, man, but I'm telling you, Jonny ordered the troops to stop these guys a few weeks ago...I was there, I can tell you."

"Well, looks like he was caught by those blasted dragon..."

"Really? You think?"

"Shut up, man. You know I don't like your irony."

"No, you shut up! And if you don't like it, don't say stupid things!"

"Wh- hey, I think he moved..."

Someguy slowly opened his eyes. Maybe it's the fact that it was the first time in weeks that he layed on something soft that made him think he was in his room, and that everything was one heck of a weird dream that he'll be able to share with his friends in the dream thread on the forum. Yet, instead of seeing his white ceiling and lights, he sees a cave wall. That shock woke him up a bit more. Why was he in a cave? That's when it came back to him: damn dragons. He got up.

First thing he noticed was that everything seemed brighter than normal. He reached for his lucky shades, but they were nowhere to be seen. Must've fallen during the fight. Too bad, he liked those glasses. Second thing he noticed was that he was behind bars. Third thing he noticed was that, on the opposite end of the cell was two beds, and on those beds were two Squirtles, talking rapidly while glancing in his general direction. Finally, he check himself. Everything seemed to be in order, except for the headache left by that dragon after whacking him out. What was that guy's name? Spyro? No, wait, that's a game. Why the hell was he thinking of Spyro? He kept thinking about what his name could be for 10 seconds and gave up. He never was that great with remembering things...

The two Squirtles stopped talking and were staring at him, obviously waiting to see what that oversized lug was gonna do next. Someguy stretched his muscles a bit, looked at one of the Squirtles and simply said: "Hey."

"Uh, hi." replied the turtle. A small moment's silence, and then he added "I'm Jon, this here's Mike"

"Name's Charles. Friends call me Someguy, but you can call me Chuck." he checked his watch. Broken. Probably in the fight. Yay. "Say, do any of you have the time?"

"It's 9:14 PM, now shut up, all of you." said a voice.

Someguy turned towards the voice, and it was only at that moment that he noticed there was a dragon guarding the cell. How could he have missed him?

9:14 PM. Someguy thought for a while and realized the meteor was going to crash anytime now.

"Make me, asshole." replied the squirtle named Mike

"Don't tempt me" said the dragon through gritted teeth.

Someguy laid back on his bed, seriously wishing he had an mp3 player with good music on. He decided to play a song in his head, and the only one that came was "Adagio in G minor" by Albinoni.

Aw well, he liked classical music.

(Ok, Taco, you're free to crash now. Also, listen to Adagio. Great music for the moment.)

Someguy's music was interrupted by thudding footsteps. A large, three-headed dragon with seven tails approached his cell.
This was Gorynych. He was of the Slavic breed of dragon, but was much larger and had extra heads and tails.
He belonged to a group of dragon called the Draco Di, Latin for dragon gods. All have one thing in common, they ether had extra limbs and/or extreme size. Some famous examples of Draco Di are: The Hydra, Jawzahr, The Knucker, Hatuibwari, Ladon, and just about any famous dragon you can think of.
"Do you know what your sentence is for attempted murder of the queen?" Gorynych asked.

Someguy's music was interrupted. He hates it when his music is interrupted. He raised his head and saw a dragon with many heads and a few tails extra. Only thing that came to mind when he saw it was a memorable Predator quote: "You're one ugly motherfucker."

The beast spoke:

"Do you know what your sentence is for attempted murder of the queen?"

Someguy was pissed. He had a terrible headache, he was separated from his friends, who were in Jonny's lair (he was so impatient to meet Jonny!), he was not in his comfy bed, and now, this guy comes up and interrupts his music. He replied:

"I don't know, but I sure hope it's not going to be staring at your butt ugly, mug, ridiculous face. That punishment would be unbearable."

Mike the Squirtle started chuckling and turned to Jon saying "I like this guy already."

Before the dragon, who was visibly mad at this sudden disrespect, could say a single word, Someguy continued:

"And just to be clear, asshole, your queen attacked me first. Me and my friends were defending ourselves, and we were stronger. So I don't deserve any punishment. So there."

"Lies!" Gorynych's three heads roared. He almost lunged at Someguy but retained himself.
He turnded to the guard and said, "Bring the Squirtles to the dining hall, I expect to see them tonight, well sesoned."
The guard smiled and walked into the cell, Gorynych following.
Gorynych walked up to Someguy and his middle head picked him up by the coller of his shirt.
"Now about that sentence, 6 hours in the halination chamber. The rest of it is the queen's choice," the right head said.
Gorynych caried Someguy out of the cell.

As the dragon turned to the guard, someguy noticed something on the ground. A rock. a rather sharp rock. He quickly took it just as the 3 headed freak was done talking and hid it in his closed fist. He had no intention of receiving any punishments. The beast then grabbed him by the collar and was bringing him out of the cell. It didn't notice the rock.

As he was being brought, he quickly looked around. He saw other dragons, passageways, ect. But then, he saw it; a long passageway, and at the other end of it, a room. And in that room, a stack of the weapons confiscated from the prisoners. It was completely unguarded. Obviously, the dragons didn't think anyone could or would reach it. Or maybe the guard was off to someplace. Either way, it was perfect. He turned to one of the heads and said:

"Wait, wait, I wanna say something before we go on..."

"What?" said the dragon in a fierce voice as all 3 heads gazed upon the captive.

"I just wanna say...I'm sorry..."

"Ah! Good. Some respect. But don't think it'll get you out of your-"

"Wait, you didn't let me finish."

"Go on, then."

"I'm sorry...for this!"

And then someguy grabbed his sharp stone and plunged it with hard force into one of the beast's eyes. Dark red blood started pouring out. The dragon roared in pain and dropped someguy, who started bolting down the hallway, while hearing his ex-captor roar behind him:

"You'll pay dearly for that, you little weasel!"

Someguy ran as fast as his legs could carry him, while the dragon, full of rage, was chasing him. He fortunately reached the room first, and grabbed the first thing he saw: a longsword. He wield the weapon and faced the dragon, who entered the room as well, his faces angry, and half of one in a bloody mess.

He was ready.

(hey guys, start posting! don't leave the rpg hanging please =P)

Suddenly, a cube. Not just any cube, but one with hearts on it. More importantly was where it was located, which happened to be directly above Someguy. He dodged it as it fell, but that momentary distraction was all the dragon needed. Someguy hit the ground hard as the dragon slammed him with it's strong front foot. Pinned down with the sword arm trapped, he did the only thing he could. He bit down on the dragon's foot with all his might.

"You silly human think that THAT measly attack could stop me!?" the dragon roared, laughing like an insane clown. He shifted some of his weight off Someguy as he did so, in order not to crush him and give him the easy way out.

"No I think this will!" Someguy replied, swinging the sword into the dragon's leg, making twangs like an overstreched guitar strings as the tendons and muscles were sliced.

(first time doing this, please excuse any mistakes or taboo things I did.)

Gorynych gave a agonized roar. This woke the guard. She swore under her breath as she saw Someguy get up with the bloody sword and Gorynych fall onto his side with his foreleg limp and one of his eyes a bloody mess. She was even more angry at herself as she reconized the guy with the sword was the prioner Charles, one of the Childeren.
D***it Emma you need to get more sleep when your shift in over! You let one of the Children walz in here, take a sword, let him strike down Gorynych, one of the Draco Di, and only wake up when Gorynych gives out a cry for help! the guard thought.
Emma was no dragon, she was a human. The lone survivor of The Neo-Azrothien Massicure, when The Hive leyed waste to Neo-Azorth's capital. She sereved in the Black Ops before Neo-Azroth's queen exiled her. She gave Katls the plans for the capital in excange for shleter and a chance to kill the queen of Neo-Azroth herself. Katls dauther gave her a gift of her own, immortality and her plans for The Hive when she inherited it.
Emma stood and called out to Someguy, "Stand down Charles, I you wish to kill Gorynych, you must kill me first!"
She brandished what at first appered to be a sword without it's blade, but when she pushed a botten on the hilt, and serated blade erupted from the hilt. She pressed anouther botten on the hilt and the blade vibrated violently. She whent into the combat that she had been tained to go into for years.
She was ready.

After avoiding the cube, which came out of nowhere, getting pinned down by the dragon, and attacking it's foot a bit, this girl who couldn't be older than 18 suddenly came out of nowhere and told him:

"Stand down Charles, I you wish to kill Gorynych, you must kill me first!"

Someguy's mind started asking questions. Who was this girl? Where'd she come from? And how the heck did she know his name? But he put those aside for now. He was still pinned down, and she was coming with a (rather cool) sword. He looked around and saw the cube. He quickly grabbed it, and was surprised; it was very light, but he knew that if he threw it, it would suddenly become very heavy. He threw it towards the girl, but his throwing was never that great. He missed by a meter, but suddenly, the cube changed direction in mid-flight, and whacked the girl right on the kissser. It didn't knock her out, unfortunately, but she fell on the ground, which was good enough."The cube must have a mind of it's own, or at least a homing system..." he quickly thought as he attacked the dragon some more and pulled himself out from under it's leg.

He then backed off a bit, to keep his eyes on his two opponents. 2 vs 1. Not very fair, but he's been in worst fights.

The cube was pleased. It did not know who was in the right, but its sense of right told it to help the outnumbered person. However, it also understood it was inanimate and contained not computer, so it could not know that. The dragon, meanwhile, with two of its heads distracted by its nearly severed leg, bit at Someguy with its one remaining head. He dodged quickly and backpedaled as both the dragon and Emma, who had recovered by this time, advanced on him at once.

Suddenly, the dragon collapsed onto the ground, one of its heads smacking Emma hard enough to make he fall as well. The cube, which had somehow become placed under the dragon's good front leg, skittered away across the floor. It seemed pleased.

Someguy somehow understood that now the fight was even, well, as even as a fight between a cube and a guy versus a dragon and a girl could be. He was ready to take advantage of the momentary distraction the cube caused.

Emma while she still on the ground threw a flash-bang grnade at Someguy. It exploded at Someguy's feet.
This bought her some time to get up and engage Someguy again. She charged and swung at Someguy.
Someguy weakly razed his sword to parry the blow, and as their blades collided, the amout of vibration of Emma's blade lowered for a fraction of a second.
Someguy's sword blade fell to the ground and Emma's sword glaced his cheek. Scarlet blood trikled from the wound.
Emma gave Someguy a ferce kick to the chest and he when flying for about 5 feet, landing about a foot away from the weapon stockpile.
She smurked at Someguy. She knew exaktly what he was going to do. Grab anouther weapon and attack her. But she was immortal, he couldn't harm her.

Someguy was surprised. One second, he was fighting, the other he's on the ground a few feet away. Impressive kick and a good attack, but of course he'll never tell her that. That would be encouraging the opponent. He quickly got back up, remembering a rule he learned during his training years: "A man on the ground is at the mercy of his enemy". He looked around, and the closest thing to him was a club. Good enough. He grabbed it and immediately swung it at the dragon's face, which was a little too close for comfort. The beast backed his head a bit to avoid contact with the wood.

He discreetly moved a bit closer to the stack of weapons, all the while keeping the dragon and the girl at bay with his club. He swung one last time at the dragon and then quickly grabbed a lazer machine gun. Before anyone else made any move, someguy dropped the club, grabbed the gun with both hands, and shot in the general direction of the dragon's heads. Lots of bullets missed, but what the boy wanted to happen happened; he managed to shoot all three heads at the right place. The dragon froze, let out a final roar, and crashed on the ground.

It was slained.