Favourite Quotes

WARREN LOOK AT THIS, THIS IS THE GUY YOU NEARLY KILLED! LOOK AT HIM! - A guy in my class, pretending to blame another guy for "causing" my seizure.
Many lulz were had.

"Ma'am, it appears your arteries are clogged with Velociraptors. There's nothing we can do."
Cracked

"It looks like crap, learn to read!" ~kid in my latin class, talking about his handwriting

"Will he think it was a magical tangerine?"

-an episode of Cardcaptor Sakura. Good grief did they cut out a lot from the English dub. It's a shame because the original version is really funny so far.

"When was anything from Canada good? I mean even their money's gay - oh come on their money has ducks on it!"

"Jones Soda just released this report stating they will sell their Bacon Flavored Soda just in time for its holiday. What holiday does BACON have? Breakfast is not a holiday!"

"She's French! She probably wanted to have sex with Jonny Depp AND Angelina Jolie."

"Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home."

"According to the New York Post, Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen are dating. They must be getting serious—Lance gave Ashley his yellow Live Strong bracelet. She wears it as a belt."

"For months there have been rumors that J.Lo is finally pregnant with Marc Anthony’s baby. She was afraid it might never happen. I’m afraid it’s going to look like Marc Anthony."

-Comedian Chelsea Handler (some of those quotes are from her talk show, Chelsea Lately).

"I accidentally got my religious grandma talking about evolution"


Taco

Samiam wrote:"I accidentally got my religious grandma talking about evolution"


Taco

I accidentally got her grandma to hate me because I didn't like salads and ate to much fruit and chex mix. Hey, I don't care if Taco is my best friend, I am NOT giving up my chex mix.

"Nobody's ever died being too careful"
"Words to live by"
-006 to 007 in Goldeneye

Spooky what is chex mix?

Tuomey wrote:Spooky what is chex mix?

A delicious assortment of pretzels, raisins, little wheat squares, nuts, cheezits, cheeze sticks and other various little snack food items that come in either salty, hot, or original flavors :3 I suggest everyone look into getting some chex mix. My favorite ones are the kind with Doritos randomly tossed in!

http://www.chex.com/recipes/RecipeView.aspx?RecipeId=6709&CategoryId=343

Eeeeeeew nuts and raisins.
Meh pretzels and wheat squares.

Favorite moment in the entire movie.

Ah, Aladdin. Return of Jafar left a lot to be desired, but King of Thieves was great.

Edit: Wait, how the hell would Genie even know about guns or cavalrymen? I can't fault the Pocahontas cameo though.

Jonny wrote:Ah, Aladdin. Return of Jafar left a lot to be desired, but King of Thieves was great.

Edit: Wait, how the hell would Genie even know about guns or cavalrymen? I can't fault the Pocahontas cameo though.

Because he is the GMF Genie.
Much how I justify/explain most of my actions/things that happen to me - because I'm Tuomey GMF Tombstone.

Me reacting to the news:

News anchor:"What are Russian bombers doing above the North Sea?"
Me:"Making noise"
(To understand this joke you must know what an Tu-95 Bear is)

I am going to imagine it as a new bomber that drops Russian attack bears in special cages so they arrive unharmed but very angry.

"Oh, you are quite the Decepticon!"

"Don't be fooled, they call me the Doctor Hotcurry for my quick thinking, skill and agility!"

Both are quotes from the play I was recently in.

Every single one of these.

It's all very well being abke to write books, but can you waggle your ears?

J.M.Barrie

Blood blood blood blood blood

+1 internet to the first to figure out who said it.

(hint: it's extremely aggravating to humans)

Friend: "So where are you going when the zombies come?"
Me: "Hunting."

Friend: "I Soft-Modded my Ps2 but I have no laptop to download any games to play on it ad I am seriously craving some Need for Speed!"
Me: "Listen mate if you're craving a drug addiction there're some serious issues here"

Engorgio! REDUCTO!!! []

What's fun with talking with yourself is that you always understand what you mean.

-Me

"First, take a big step back, and literally FUCK YOUR OWN FACE."