Favourite Quotes

"Computer science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes."

"The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim."

-Edsger Dijkstra

"I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours."

-Blaze gave Sliver the that a sympathetic nurse give a patient.
"Hey Blaze, where'd you get the savory clothes?" Silver asked.
That look instantly changed to what a murderous one.
(paraphrased) from a friend of mine's Sonic parody.

"We gotta make Ice King think we're having fun by saying fun words like "woopee!"
"We gotta finish building our gauntlet dock! A dock, that is also a gauntlet."
"I Would carve my face on the moon, so the moon would look like my face"
I'll slay anything that's evil, that's my deal!"
“I will unleash the pranking demon and he will prank your soul!”
“Oh no! They're destroying Old Ladies! ”
“Don't flaunt it if you're not gonna give it up. ”
“Yeah, it's pretty math... you psychopath! ”
“Tree Trunks, I'm all jacked up because of you. Look at my jacked up face! ”
Ahhh! Horse! Get out of here! I wanna go to sleep and you're creeping me the math out! - jake
Ricardio: You were right all along, Finn! Now I'm going to cut out Princess Bubblegum's heart and make out with it.


Keeper: The key is in you, child, but you can not use your brawn here, the door is MAGICALLY sealed!
Finn: (Picks up Keeper and shoves him in the lock. The door unlocks.)
Keeper: You've unlocked the riddle of the door! Ha ha! Brilliantly young child! Please, reveal to me how you unravelled my clue!
Finn: I just thought you looked cute stuffed in that lock.
Keeper: Oh yes, that's how most people get in...

Evil Wizard: Now, as one last LAST trial: SLAY THIS ANT!
Finn: Is it evil?
Evil Wizard: No! But it's... not good, either. It's neutral. Will you slay it?
Finn: ...NO!
Evil Wizard: If you want the hero's Enchiridion, then slay this unaligned ant!
Finn: Never. Never! NEVER! (Runs up to wizard and kicks it)
Keeper: (Enters) Congratulations Finn the human. Now you have truely reached-
Finn: NEVER!!! (Punches Keeper in the stomach.) Oh no! Mr. Keeper, I'm sorry. Wha- Why are you wearing that little devil costume?
Keeper: These are my pyjamas. I was getting ready for bed.

Finn: Yeah, there's a big sleeping lava man in our front yard, he is so hot...
Jake Mmm hmm...hehe...
Finn: I mean, not like sexy hot, but...
Jake: No, you do mean sexy hot.
Finn: No, I mean...
Ice King: I DON'T CARE!

Finn: What do you think? Fixed all your problems, right?
Mountain: No! That was terrible! Now the men are just punching animals! It's worse than before and it's in no way a good solution!

Duchess of Nuts: Would you like to hear what MY NUTS HAVE TO SAY?!
Finn: That won't be...um...necessary...

Who wears a tuxedo that's about to suck your souls?-Marceline's Dad
YOUR MOM. -Random Guy

"In the dark recesses of the mind, a disease known as FEAR feasts upon the souls of those who cannot overcome its power..."


-Adventure time. Don't judge me.

Stop trying to hit me and hit me - Morpheus

"If this is the ultimate life form, then I am God."
-Blaze

"[Katls,]who are you talking to?"
"His imaginary friend Gorge, so just leave him alone."
"I don't have an imaginary friend named Gorge, but I do have a little voice in my head named Tom."
-Me and some classmates

"Oh, I have a joke!" -Reid
"...please, don't..." -Rossi
*ignores* "How many existentialists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the light bulb and one to observe how the light bulb symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of Cosmic Nothingness." *giggles to self* -Reid
"..." -Students
"You know, b-because..." *clears throat* -Reid

"...why do they send you to help recruit students?" -Rossi
"I...I don't know..." -Reid

-Criminal Minds. I love this show.

"It's similar to how you would buy a music through iTunes to an iPod".

-The thatgamecompany website on downloading games on PSN.

Two atoms are walking down the street. One suddenly stops and says, "Oh no! I've lost an Electron!" His friends asks, "Are you sure?!" and the other one goes, "No, I'm POSITIVE!"

This joke helped me through my Biology classes.

"I'm not sadistic, I'm just aggressive"
me to a classmate of mine who commented on drawings in my notebook

"I'm not gay, but I think my boyfriend is." - A person in the hallways. I swear I heard this quote before so its not original, but it was hilarious coming out of nowhere like it did.

"It wasn't rape! I shouted surprise!" Someone in the hallway.

Oh God, it's evolved out from the internet. Alert the police.

"You did a threesome!"

-someone in the hallway at school...

"I can do this, because I'm SUPERFLY." - Me waking up early today and remembering I had a test. It made me giggle, came out of nowhere.

"There is a technical, literary term for those who mistake the opinions and beliefs of characters in a novel for those of the author. The term is 'idiot.'"

"I fart in your general direction"

-French soldier

Me: “If I don’t have that food out for you in 15 minutes, you guys don’t have to pay for lunch!”

Customer: “Wait. If you take too long and we don’t have to pay, does the price of the food come out of your salary?”

Me: *jokingly* “Oh, no, but my managers do take me outback and beat me.”

Customer: *pauses* “Can I watch?”

Not Always Right.

"brave sir robin ran away,
bravely ran away away.
when danger reared its ugly head,
he bravely turned his tail and fled.
brave brave brave brave sir robin!"
-minstrels in monty python and the holy grail.

"Every sperm is scared, every sperm is good,
If a sperm is wasted, God get (can't remember the word that goes here) irated

-a Romain Catholic to his 30 child.

"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the Universe." Carl Sagan.

''Well, you know the old saying; to make an omelet, you must destroy a few galaxies...''

-Mr Burns

"Bobby, if you weren't my son, I'd hug you".

-King of the Hill

"Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today

Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after...wards
I don’t want this weekend to end"

-Rebecca Black: Friday