LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!
So, after you guys said I can do this post, and after most of us chose a game, it is time for us to play
I will try to update as often as possible. And yes, the pictures will be this big in my post.
Oh, right, will contain swearing and stupid humor.
-----------------------------------------------------EDIT-----------------------------------------------------
When it's narration (ex: Link does this and that, ect), it will be in italic, and when it's me saying gameplay (ex: I do this and that, ect), it will be in normal text.
Act 1, Scene 1
So, after you guys said I can do this post, and after most of us chose a game, it is time for us to play
I will try to update as often as possible. And yes, the pictures will be this big in my post.
Oh, right, will contain swearing and stupid humor.
-----------------------------------------------------EDIT-----------------------------------------------------
When it's narration (ex: Link does this and that, ect), it will be in italic, and when it's me saying gameplay (ex: I do this and that, ect), it will be in normal text.
Act 1, Scene 1
- Spoiler:
- After saving the City of Hyrule from the evil Ganon and restoring peace to the lands, our hero, Link, returns to the comfort of his home. But a few days later, he realizes a horrible truth; without Navi, his annoying fairy who bothered him with stupid tips and advices every five minutes and who left after Link became a hero, life became rather hard. He half expected to hear a sharp "HEY!" or "LISTEN!" every time he did a household chore, and the annoying critters that would crawl over Link's lawn were pretty damn hard to hit without the perfect aiming technique from Navi. After 3 weeks of living in silence, he decided to search for his fairy. He saddled onto his horse, Epona, and wished the Princess Zelda goodbye as he strode out of Hyrule.
While on his quest, the young hero notices a pub. It was getting dark, and he was thirsty, so he attached his horse near the front door and walked in and ordered a few tall glasses of Lon Lon Milk, the strongest liquor in all the land. And by a few, I mean a dozen. After finishing his milk, the bartender told Link that the total was of 2400 rupees. Link, drunk out of his mind, screamed "STFU n00b, i haz no moniez lol" and threw a bottle. The result was a powerful bar fight. When the fight ended, Link was kicked out of the pub.
He stumbled towards his horse, climbed on, and started slowly riding off. Before being out of sight, he screamed to whoever could hear him:
"FACK all of ya! *hic* I'M A HERO, DAMNIT! I FOUGHT GANON! *sobs* and thiz is ow u repay me? WELL I DONT NEED YA SILLY PUB OR YA SILLY MILK! OR MY NAME ISNT...isnt...uhhhh..."
He thought it over for a while. What WAS his name? After a minute of thinking, it came back to him. Of course!
His name is...
Our hero slowly wakes up. He rode his horse all night, and he must have fallen asleep on it. Certain his name is Titties, he lifts his head from his horse a bit and looks around. He notices he is in a foggy forest, at the break of dawn. The smell of wet bark and ground comes up to his nose while Titties smack the taste of milk off of his lips. He stretches his arms and legs a bit, and tries to get over the pain of his hangover-induced headache. Suddenly, a noise is hear over him. He looks up.
Wh-Who the hell is there? ah, my head...
Looking up, he didn't notice that two fairies suddenly came out from behind a tree to jump him. They scare the shit out of Epona, which responds by sending Titties head first into the ground. Titties had time to shout a quick "FUCK!" before the ground knocked him out.
ow.
When he finally woke up, having made a quick dream about jacuzzis, milk and vacuum cleaners, he held his head, which was pounding hard against his skull, and he heard a note. He noticed some kid with two fairies, and the kid had his precious Ocarina!
He stood up, and told the kid "What the fuck are you doing with my Ocarina?"
The skull kid stared at Titties. He looked at him for a while, and the responded "lolololol im too awesome, im taking your ocarina. Oh, and your horse too, cuz you suck, n00b."
ollololololololol11 one one
Titties jumped onto the Skull kid's leg and held on while Epona ran as fast as she could. Skull kid was struggling to keep himself on Epona, and TTs (we'll call him that for short every now and then) was struggling to keep himself on Skull Kid. It went on like this for maybe 2 minutes, until the Skull Kid pushed TTs off of his legs.
GTFO
Alright, Treehouse, I'm getting a little tired, so I'll take a quick break, but I'll update soon! Meanwhile, tell me what you think via comments. And I also promise that, later on, there won't be so much walls of text, and more pics, since now there's gameplay, and I won't have to describe so much things.
Alright, guys, this is where things get interesting. I can finally move. That asshole stole my horse, and now I'm gonna make TTs chase him down and beat the ever living FUCK outta him. Absolutely nothing can stop me, and...
HOLY SHIT! PLANTS!
DIE PLANTS!
So, after I utterly destroyed these awful beasts (and made 19 rupees!), I continue to chase Skull Kid. All I have to do is keep following his tracks. It's all gonna be flatland. Absolutely nothing but flatland.
Pictured: nothing but flatland.
Guess what happens next. No seriously, take a wild guess.
So TTs is falling to what everyone is sure of a certain death, and it goes on for about 20 seconds. Then things get sorta weird.
For example, I land on a flower.
Suddenly, a light pops up and flashes Titties. The poor guy is nearly blinded by the light. And from the light, we can see Skull kid, who's doing a better job at self levitation then this guy.
"That's maybe because it's my horse, retard." says TTs
"You son of a- hey, wait a minute, how can my horse still be alive after a fall like that? I mean, I landed on this flower and you levitated, but my horse? Also, how did you get rid of my horse so damn quickly? You must have had, what, maybe 2 minutes? So how the hell did you- actually, nevermind."
"Well, so is someguy3657. Right now, he's not doing any chores "
"Yes. I mean, in the last game, I fought fucking Ganon. Do you really think some stupid kid with a lame mask is scaring me?"
Then shit gets real weird.
What's going on? What's gonna happen? Just watch.
Looking like what?
So now, Skull kid is leaving, but looks like he forgot something.
In case if you don't know, she is now the "Navi" in this game.
Oh, BTW, the Skull kid transformed TTs into...
...A DEKU! *Da DuH DUUUUH!*
And now, I can see that the Skull kid wasn't kidding. I'll stay here like this forever. I mean, how on earth can I POSSIBLY get through this DOOR?
Treehouse, I need some help here. How can I defeat this door?
Act 1, Scene 2
Act 1, Scene 3
Act 1, Scene 4
- Spoiler:
- You guys had such great ideas for the door, that I decided to use them all. I took a gelignite tipped sledge hammer and used pound attack on the door while kicking it, all while astonishing and attracting it. It was so amazing that the screen shot deleted itself out of pure badassery. It also made me change from scene 1 to scene 2.
So here I am, on the other side. The pictures on the walls are kinda creepy, but I ignore them. I keep going down the corridor, when...
Well, so much for THAT plan.
So Talt explains to me that she might know where Skull kid is, and she wants to follow me around, being slightly annoying. I only listen to about half of what she says, because, really, I don't give a shit.
Don't give a shit.
So now I go near the flowers like this:
Now you see me...
And get sucked in powerfully, like this:
Now you don't.
The flower must think I taste horrible or something, because I get spit out almost instantly.
Well, at least I can somewhat fly around with the super manly spinning pink flowers
So I arrive at the door, and open it, glad I don't have to do any more of these stupid flowers. Can you imagine doing some more, but with a big hole all over the place? How crappy would tha-
FUUUUUUUUUUU-
So after a bit of flying, I come up to this chest. YAY HAPPY FACE!
I open it, and what do I get?
Probably the biggest fail item in this game. I can never aim them right, and frankly, why stun someone when you can just kill him?
So I keep flying towards the exit of this hellhole, when me and Talt come up to this really ugly tree. Talt, who felt like insulting me, says:
So we pass through the door, and suddenly we become drunk again.
And we arrive in this weird room.
Guess we have to go up.
So we arrive at the top, and guess what I see?
HALLELUJAH!
So I make Titties go near the door, but I can't help feeling like I'm watched.
Nothing up there...
Nothing over there...
And nothing down there.
Huh.
Must have been my imagina-
HOLYSHITWTF?
So the creepy guy (we'll call him a random name...Tacoline, for example) tells us that:
I don't really care what Taco says, he looks creepy, and is probably a stalker. It really doesn't help when he says:
But then he gets interesting.
HOLY CRAP, REALLY?
Well, that seems simple enough. I mean, it's not like I have a time limit or anything.
THREE DAYS?!
Alright, fine, deal, but only because I want my sword back.
So I leave Tacoline and head to the door.
Taking a break now. Next update, we are going out!
Act 1, Scene 3
- Spoiler:
Titties pushes the door open, and the sunlight nearly blinds him. He hates his new Deku form, the mask guy creeped the shit outta him, and he's glad he's finally out in fresh air, so he doesn't know how to feel right now. He has to find that idiot of a kid with his douche mask and force him to turn him back to normal. But he had to do it within 3 days...tight deadline. But it didnt matter much, since he was Titties, the man who defeated Ganon. If he could defeat some dark wizard at his highest power, he can defeat some stupid kid. He barely took a step out of the tower when his new...er..."friend" tells him things he already knew.
"Yes, I know that, Talt, no need to tell me...anything else?" says TTs
"Why?"
"By 'he', you mean Skull kid, right? Ok...so where is the Fairy?"
"Fine, fine..."
SO! Talt wants me to go to the North, but I feel like exploring a bit first. The first thing I see is a cute little doggy! D'AWWW HE'S SO CUTE!
Who's the cute doggy? You are! You are!
OW! Son of a bitch! That motherfucking dog jumps me for no reason! Crazy bitch!
I then take a few more steps and...
"YES! I'M GOING! JUST WAIT, DAMNIT! I'm just going to wash my face a bit at the laundry pool first...ow..."
So I head over to the laundry pool, hoping to take a quick swim or something, but it's already taken by some creepy peach-colored baby fairy thingy that kinda freaks me out.
I jumped towards the water, and instead of swimming, I started bouncing on it's surface. Weird.
I bounce towards the fairy, hoping to scare it off or something, but instead of leaving, it tells me:
Wow, why does every fairy I encounter want to go to the North? Seriously, is the Great Fairy giving away fountains of chocolate, mountains of gold and endless virgins or something? (I hope so)
I step out of the Laundry pool, and I spot a flower thingy. I head towards it, hoping to pass some time and to flip the two fairies off when...
Fuck.
So I ask him kindly to GTFO so I could enjoy the flower, but for some reason, he starts talking about some stone named "Moon's Tear"
He also tells me that if I had one, and that I gave him this valuable gem, he would give me his stupid flower. I tell him that, if I have one, I'll give it to him, but really, I just said that to get away from this freak.
HE WILL STARE INTO YOUR SOUL WHILE YOU ARE SLEEPING.
I head over to the West side, and I see lots of cool looking stores, which I will explore, but not today!
That's right! After realizing that I don't suck that much at comedy, and after spending some time reviewing funny things (Rare's game post and cracked.com), I've decided to let this thread LIVE!
And if anyone secretly wanted this thread to die, well, then:
Is random pics on another game funny? Yes it is. LAUGH DAMNIT!
Titties walked into the alley, and could see almost immediately that it was the shopping part of town. The area seemed more roofed in, and kids were aimlessly wandering around. All they needed was an empty cup and a witty hand written sign and they could be hobos. But that barely mattered to Titties, because he felt like spending money on completely worthless things. He looked into his rupee bag and saw he had 30 rupees. Not bad.
So I go up to the first door. It tells me that this is the Curiosity Shop, whatever that is, and that opening hours are from 10 to 6. That's 10 PM to 6 AM.
Now, I don't know much about business, but I can say that opening your shop only during the night isn't money wise. But I must admit that shops working only in the night bring...er, a wide variety of peoples who are totally not criminals. Plus, naming your shop "The Curiosity Shop" without any type of description as to what it is totally isn't suspicious.
Now I was casually strolling down the path, when, suddenly, this lady calls out to me, and says:
Uh oh, it's NARRATION time!
Titties looked up to the women who was crouching on her own counter top. She somewhat looked menacing, with that black hat covering up her eyes, and a strong smell of coffee that was overpowering from her presence. She frantically asked Titties to put money in her questionable bank, mumbling that even if peoples had a lot of money, they placed nothing in her bank. After mumbling those words, she screamed "NOTHING!", as if the boy didn't hear her. Titties didn't feel safe at all; she was continually pounding the counter with both hands, either as a spasm from too much caffeine or as a voluntary movement, to hurt herself so she could stop the voices in her head that tell her to suddenly jump on the deku boy in front of her, pin him down, and gut him with her own teeth. Titties tried to run away, to escape the glare of this crazy lady, but his legs didn't seem to respond. She had him right where she wanted him. He took out his wallet, with the intent to add a buck or two, but the lady, who was staring down at him with full force, didn't want such a little donation. Titties knew it. So he decided to lay everything on the table, just so he could get away from her.
Suddenly, everything seemed calm. It felt like the end of a terrible hurricane, and the sun shone from behind a cloud. She thanked him in that overexcited, caffeinated voice, and she asked the frightened child his name.
She told him that she had to mark him with a stamp of her special ink, so she could remember him when he came back. Titties, who decided that he'll never come back here unless he had no other choice, told her that it wasn't necessary. But before he could even finish his sentence, she whacked him on the head with a stamp with the word "Tidiez" on it. Titties backed away from her and entered the first door behind him.
Well, that's it for this update. Hope you guys enjoy it.
Act 1, Scene 4
- Spoiler:
- Alright, let's continue where we left off.
So, last update, I went out onto the patio, but I noticed it wasn't there anymore. So I fell and found Goompa, and asked him for his hammer. He says he lost it somewhere over here, so I'm gonna look for it, and...
Oh, wait, wrong game.
So I made Titties enter the first building to get away from bank girl, and it just so happens to be a convienience store. Since I don't have any money, I'll just look. First thing I notice is that they don't seem to have food, which sucks because this is probably one of the only stores in the entire town. So what do these peoples eat? Deku nuts? Potions?
Pictured: Trading post. Not pictured: Anything that could help a town much.
The man behind the counter takes one look at me and suddenly acts like a major dick.
WHAT IF I DON'T HAVE ANY? WHAT IF I'M AN ORPHAN? HUH?!? HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF THAT, ASSHOLE?
So I leave the presence of this back scratching idiot, and see the bank lady. Part of me doesn't want to make eye contact with her while the other part of me doesn't want to break it. I run to the next shop and enter in without even seeing what kind of shop it is. It turns out to be a bomb shop.
Well. A bomb shop. In a town. Where there's children. And apparently, no one is stopping a kid from entering this shop, so it means the kids here can buy explosives for a few bucks. I'm surprised the cops didn't storm the place yet.
A small kid buying bombs? Nope, nothing wrong there...
I go up to the counter, and the punk dude behind the counter says that I can't buy explosives, since bombs are heavier than the average deku, but at least he's inviting me to look around, unlike some store owners...
I quickly look around, but since I have no money and I can't buy these yet, I don't stay long.
That's it for now!
Last edited by someguy3657 on Sun Oct 24, 2010 1:40 am; edited 13 times in total
Wed Aug 04, 2010 4:34 pm by A Sinister Speaker
