TTBM #4? 5? I don't even-

You can take your protein pill and put your helmet on.

Ziggy, I am glad that talking about your problems in a thread is helping you. Me saying this may do little for you but you are not suffering from a lack of empathy, you are just reaching the limits of your capacity to help him.

You said it best with the "not listening to reason" part. Clinical depression is a very serious condition and people can say and do a whole lot of terrible things if even not on purpose due to the spiral of behavior they can be pulled into. Such things can make anyone distress because no human alive has the level of patience required to handle someone like that for any extended period of time.

By no means should he be left to "just deal with it" it is your love and support as family is what he needs. But ultimately he is going to need to realize that he needs help, seek help and then stick with it.

You probably know all those things already, I just thought I should say them. Don't feel guilty about how you feel when you dad gets like that. Your feelings are completely normal just don't give up on him.

TTBM: Having the worst internet in the world. I'm trying to watch a stream here, already at 240p (the lowest quality setting), and I've been waiting for it to load longer than I've actually seen anything. It plays for a few seconds, then takes 3 times as long to load the next few seconds. I have literally seen just under 10 minutes of actual streaming in a half hour.

Slow internet should be banned by Geneva convention, because it's clearly torture.

TTBM: I don't know how much longer I can go without doing something very violent to someone.
My mother is driving me insane, I'm beginning to worry I'll have a seizure if she doesn't stop.
I have only 5 hours of class a week at the college I didn't even want to go to.
There are no jobs.

I could see a shrink - there's a therapist or counselour or some such person in the college. But honestly, talking about it to someone paid to be sympathetic really wasn't fun when I did it before - and "talk to your mother!" is pretty much the worst suggestion ever.
I don't want to be stabbed by her, you see.
I don't need a shoulder to cry on (not that it wouldn't be nice), I need to gtfo of this house and start supporting myself but that's not going to happen anytime soon.

I really think my meds are making me more twitchy as well.
I can't do loud noises anymore.
There are lots of them in this house.
I always hated shouting and it's just getting worse.

Gorgro wrote:TTBM: Having the worst internet in the world. I'm trying to watch a stream here, already at 240p (the lowest quality setting), and I've been waiting for it to load longer than I've actually seen anything. It plays for a few seconds, then takes 3 times as long to load the next few seconds. I have literally seen just under 10 minutes of actual streaming in a half hour.

Slow internet should be banned by Geneva convention, because it's clearly torture.

AT LEAST YOU CAN PLAY MINECRAFT!

I'm so sorry 2me. *Sends a shipment of steel doors and a sledgehammer*

Ziggy Stardust wrote:Not really. I still can't change the situation. Planet earth is blue and there's nothing I can do.

Wow...nice Bowie quote usage....


....btw, how were you driving? The permit age lower where you are? []

i had a nightmare where a psychologist told me i was clinically depressed. it disturbed me because i dont consider myself depressed, i'm usually the comedic relief. but being called depressed seemed to drive me further into depression (in the dream).
i guess i still have issues with when my psych professor told me in an email (i told her it was about a friend) that the friend (me, although she didn't know it) has a psychological disorder and should seek help. it wasn't depression but it does sometimes make me feel out of place around ppl.

I constantly feel like I am emotionally detached from the world. Whenever I see or read about anything tragic, real or fictional, I never usually get saddened, and my mother has straight up told me that I am the one child who she fears does not love her, and I suspect my dad feels the same way, but for whatever reason, I just feel awkward and incapable of expressing that I do love them.
Deep down, I'm terrified I'm a sociopath.

you probably have difficulty showing it, perhaps your face doesn't convey emotion well, even if you do feel it. its called flatten affect and it can happen in several different psych disorders, but honestly from what i've read of your posts you are not sociopath.
you might feel awkward sometimes but you kno that you love them, you just dont show it as easily as others.
one of the traits of a sociopath is the ability to charm people, this you do not have because of the what your parents said. not that you are unkind, on here at least you are very mature and kind.
being manipulative is another: a sociopath does not care about manipulating people even if it hurts that person. obviously this is not you because you are concerned about what your parents think

Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

so you re not a sociopath, you possess empathy and kindness but you dont overtly show it.

Dewmann wrote: my mother has straight up told me that I am the one child who she fears does not love her,

Wow, way to make you feel good about yourself.

Dewmann wrote:I'm a sociopath.

I'm a psychopath, even my psychologist said it (not directly). I do my best to cover it but sometime its hard.

Dewmann wrote:Deep down, I'm terrified I'm a sociopath.

Siiiigh. You're not a sociopath. Sociopaths don't know they are sociopath's because they think their behavior is right and everyone else is wrong. They don't have feelings towards anyone and are the kind of person to murder someone or something without thinking twice over it. Their emotions are shallow meaning they don't feel deeply about anything such as love , or compassion,for anything. Also, they get off on wrecking other peoples lives, and not just people who are dicks to them.

If you were true Sociopath, you would not consider any of us friends, would not feel effected if someone here died,/and/[ you/[ would take any chance you could to ruin someone here for the joy of it.

Not feeling saddened over sad movies/ events or feeling awkward over the thought of expressing your love for your parents does not just make you a sociotpath. That's silly to think so.

Rare wrote:

Dewmann wrote:Deep down, I'm terrified I'm a sociopath.

Siiiigh. You're not a sociopath. Sociopaths don't know they are sociopath's because they think their behavior is right and everyone else is wrong. They don't have feelings towards anyone and are the kind of person to murder someone or something without thinking twice over it. Their emotions are shallow meaning they don't feel deeply about anything such as love , or compassion,for anything. Also, they get off on wrecking other peoples lives, and not just people who are dicks to them.

...that describes you pretty well, Rare.

I think this at the point where the srs thrd is srs bro... :s

someguy3657 wrote:

Rare wrote:

Dewmann wrote:Deep down, I'm terrified I'm a sociopath.

Siiiigh. You're not a sociopath. Sociopaths don't know they are sociopath's because they think their behavior is right and everyone else is wrong. They don't have feelings towards anyone and are the kind of person to murder someone or something without thinking twice over it. Their emotions are shallow meaning they don't feel deeply about anything such as love , or compassion,for anything. Also, they get off on wrecking other peoples lives, and not just people who are dicks to them.

...that describes you pretty well, Rare.

I'm not always a sociopath, but when I am, I try to kill a teen for his sunglasses.

......or not

Rare wrote:

I'm not always a sociopath, but when I am, I try to kill a teen for his sunglasses.

To be fair, you do at least do the "Deal with it" thing afterward, which makes it all cool.

[]

TTBM: I know I say this a lot, but I could really go for some whiskey right now.

TTBM: 2me doesn't have Durkon from Order of the Stick as his avatar...[]

Rare wrote:

someguy3657 wrote:

Rare wrote:

Dewmann wrote:Deep down, I'm terrified I'm a sociopath.

Siiiigh. You're not a sociopath. Sociopaths don't know they are sociopath's because they think their behavior is right and everyone else is wrong. They don't have feelings towards anyone and are the kind of person to murder someone or something without thinking twice over it. Their emotions are shallow meaning they don't feel deeply about anything such as love , or compassion,for anything. Also, they get off on wrecking other peoples lives, and not just people who are dicks to them.

...that describes you pretty well, Rare.

I'm not always a sociopath, but when I am, I try to kill a teen for his sunglasses.

Well yeah, I usually do overreact over certain things. (HOLYCRAPBUMPINTHENIGHTMURDERERRAPISTCOMINGSPECIFICALLYTOTARGETME)

TTBM: I want my license and my own car so badly, if only to get away from the immature group of 4-5 fucks on that bus. Maybe I'm just getting worked up over nothing, since they don't target anyone in particular, but hearing them literally shriek, scream "NIGGA!" to each other, and overall act like being as fucking annoying as possible is hilarious can really get to someone after a while.
And for whatever reason the bus driver never does a damn thing.

someguy3657 wrote:

Rare wrote:

Dewmann wrote:Deep down, I'm terrified I'm a sociopath.

Siiiigh. You're not a sociopath. Sociopaths don't know they are sociopath's because they think their behavior is right and everyone else is wrong. They don't have feelings towards anyone and are the kind of person to murder someone or something without thinking twice over it. Their emotions are shallow meaning they don't feel deeply about anything such as love , or compassion,for anything. Also, they get off on wrecking other peoples lives, and not just people who are dicks to them.

...that describes you pretty well, Rare.

*bares claws*
Now, what was that again?
But seriously, here's the whole reason I'm posting on this thread.
TTBM: School has been making me so stressed lately that it is actually becomeing a physical problem. Like on Friday, I was fine until I walked into school grounds. A few uneventful mintues later I realized I was breathing slower then I should and I was getting lightheaded. It became so bad that I had to go to the office. I couldn't figure out what was happening to me, but it wasn't serious enough for me to be sent home. One of my bing stresses that I have about school at this moment is the consert that my choir class is performing in and there are a few kids who are constantly misbehaving in class and I'm afraid that they will ruin the performence. In the next class we did a in-class social project doing something simlar to the princeipal of "Dear Abby." I wrote down the consert as my problem. While I writing, the slowed breathing and lightheadedness just disapeared and didn't come back, so I know that it was stress that was causing the problems I was having. And today I was faced with the same worry and I was literaly twicthing thoughout the class and for a bit after school because of it. And everyone just saying "ignore them" isn't helping me at all.

@Driving: I was on a country road for practice and my mum made me get on the highway. I handled it pretty well until the Sonic debacle.

You got some mad anxieties, Katls. Unfortunately I don't know how to deal with anxiety outside of medication, other than meditation- I like transcendent the best. Wiki it!

I know what you mean, Dewmann. For whatever reason today I wasn't as patient with the world as I normally am, and my classmates are a big part of my world- however, I'm not all that much better than them. All I can do is either give them nasty looks - which makes me feel bad - or shake my head and smile a little patronising.
There's something about buses that makes people wig out. I think being in transit- especially for us schoolchildren - makes us super excited because we're not where we're going yet.
I don't think you are a sociopath. You just read an ass-ton of creepypastas and SCPs, which freak you out at night when it is dark.

TTBM: Everything is so much easier- in hindsight.

TTBM: Stupid Facebook who can't work like usual.

TTBM: website of my uni isn't working