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Bad Jokes!

+15
Top Hat Zebra
SQUIGGLES
Katls
Messernacht
Tuomey
Ziggles
Hollyღ
AwesomeMedic
Travelcube
Packie
D-Munny
Gorgro
JT_the_Ninja
someguy3657
Jonny
19 posters

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1Bad Jokes! Empty Bad Jokes! Wed Jun 01, 2011 9:22 pm

Jonny

Jonny
Prince of the Squirtle Squad

Post your silly, obvious, bad jokes here. If they're dirty/sick, perhaps we should spoiler them and say what they are.

Okay, I'll start with one of my own devising.

What do musicians cut vegetables on?

A Chopin board!

2Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Thu Jun 02, 2011 12:13 am

someguy3657

someguy3657

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?

BANANANAAAAA! BANANANAAAAA!

3Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Thu Jun 02, 2011 5:25 am

JT_the_Ninja

JT_the_Ninja
Ninjafleet Captain

Why don't they let dinosaurs have driver's licenses?

Because Tyrannosaurus wrecks. []

http://www.jttheninja.com

4Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Thu Jun 02, 2011 7:04 am

Gorgro

Gorgro
Glorious Leader

A farmer comes upon two snails who've eaten all his crops, and he asks them, "Why did you do such a thing?" To which the snails reply, "Because they lettuce!"

https://treehouse.forumotion.com

5Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Thu Jun 02, 2011 12:23 pm

someguy3657

someguy3657

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

6Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Thu Jun 02, 2011 1:33 pm

D-Munny

D-Munny

What do you call a black guy flying a plane?

Spoiler:

7Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Sat Jun 04, 2011 9:15 am

Packie

Packie

(don't read if you can't take a joke about anuimal cruelty (and REALLY DON'T TRY AT HOME!!))

How can you make a cat bark?
Spoiler:

And how can you make a dog meow?
Spoiler:

(I got these from my dad)



Last edited by Packie on Sat Jun 04, 2011 9:18 am; edited 1 time in total

8Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Sat Jun 04, 2011 9:17 am

Packie

Packie

some more (and not so evil this time)

why does an idiot always have a knife in his/her car?
Spoiler:

and why does he/she have old newspapers in his/her car?
Spoiler:

9Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Wed Jun 08, 2011 2:59 pm

someguy3657

someguy3657

(it's PUN time!)

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it, mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.

Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I realized I wasn't patient enough.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

10Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Wed Jun 08, 2011 3:30 pm

JT_the_Ninja

JT_the_Ninja
Ninjafleet Captain

What do you call a stupid french cow? Moutarde. []

http://www.jttheninja.com

11Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Wed Jun 08, 2011 4:35 pm

Travelcube

Travelcube

Horrible joke:

When I was 9 an living in Russia, I was at a friends house and he and his dad wanted to show me this really cool thing they found. It was some sort of parachute attached to something. I didn't really know what they were trying to show me until a bright flash of light and me being thrown on the floor away from them and getting up to see my friend's dad without arms and my friend bleeding like crazy. They had gone out to an old battlefield and dug up a bomb. Nothing I could do except watch in terror. Anyway, people do crazy shit and just because you happen to be there, doesn't mean you can save them from themselves.

Spoiler:

http://justhellapornoallthetime.com

12Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Thu Jun 09, 2011 1:45 am

JT_the_Ninja

JT_the_Ninja
Ninjafleet Captain

Q: What do you get when you throw a grenade into a French kitchen?

....



A: Linoleum Blown-apart. []

http://www.jttheninja.com

13Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Thu Jun 16, 2011 7:45 am

AwesomeMedic

AwesomeMedic

Why was the calendar always afraid?

Spoiler:

14Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Thu Jun 16, 2011 9:07 am

Hollyღ

Hollyღ
Dove in the Moonlight

War dosen't determine who is right, just who is left.

An atom walks into a bar, and asks the bartender how much for a beer. He replied, for you? No charge!

Two atoms were walking down the street. One atom says to the other one, “Oh no! I’ve lost an electron! The 2nd atom replies, “Are you sure?” Says the 1st atom, “I’m positive!"

Spoiler:

15Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Thu Jun 16, 2011 9:24 am

D-Munny

D-Munny

I once visited a crematorium where they gave discounts to burn victims.

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and asks "Does this taste funny to you?"

Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

It's common knowledge that irradiated cats have 18 half-lives.

Oh Wadsworth...

16Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Thu Jun 16, 2011 10:30 am

Packie

Packie

17Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Thu Jun 16, 2011 11:20 am

Travelcube

Travelcube

Hey, I heard that guy on NPR! I like him.

http://justhellapornoallthetime.com

18Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Thu Jun 16, 2011 12:54 pm

Jonny

Jonny
Prince of the Squirtle Squad

Dear God, what have I unleashed on this forum? Do I use my Mod powers for good...or evil?

19Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Thu Jun 16, 2011 1:31 pm

D-Munny

D-Munny

Chaotic Neutral?

20Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Thu Jun 16, 2011 8:10 pm

Hollyღ

Hollyღ
Dove in the Moonlight

Why did Pac-Man cross the maze? To get to the same side!



21Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Fri Jun 17, 2011 1:01 am

JT_the_Ninja

JT_the_Ninja
Ninjafleet Captain

"I tell ya, didn't know you'd need a college degree just to play this fighting game! It's just too tekken-ical for me..." []

http://www.jttheninja.com

22Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Fri Jun 17, 2011 4:49 am

someguy3657

someguy3657

Hey, guys, I had this great boomerang joke that I wanted to tell you. But I completely forgot the punchline.

Don't worry, though, it'll come back to me.

23Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Fri Jun 17, 2011 8:18 am

Ziggles

Ziggles

@Fallout 3 jokes a page back: <3
@Someguy: *facepalm*

What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?
...
Popeye punched him right in the eye!

24Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Sat Jun 18, 2011 5:07 am

Hollyღ

Hollyღ
Dove in the Moonlight

@ JT - Boo! Hiss! Get off the stage!

25Bad Jokes! Empty Re: Bad Jokes! Sat Jun 18, 2011 7:42 am

Tuomey

Tuomey
King Under The Bridge

Hey, did you know anything in java is just such a security risk?

It leaves everything a .jar!

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