Favourite Quotes

"We're being attakced by stone statues in a crashed spaceship, there isn't a manual for this!"

*a spaceship crew lands on an island where the gas forces them to tell the truth. One of the crew member is hiding and trying to sneak attack the captain, who's looking for him*

Captain: Where are you?

Crew member: I'm over here!...DAMNIT!

-In a galaxy near you 2

"You're only as strong as the weakest link in your group."

Something my Staff Sargent told me, and it's stuck with me ever since.

"I cried the other day. I felt stupid. But you know what? Fuck that day. That's why God, or whoever, makes new days."
Precious.

"Daddy, why are people different colors?"

"So you know which ones to hate."

"Something appears amiss with your genetalia. Hi, my name's Nathan."

Dewmann wrote:"Daddy, why are people different colors?"

"So you know which ones to hate."

That's a very bad quote since I have Ponify installed on my computer:

"Daddy, why are ponies different colors?"

"So you know which ones to hate."

Oh gods, Ponify.
Having it installed is, at times, an incredibly strange experience.
lets just say for a few minutes, when I forgot I had it installed, I thought one of my mates was in a relationship with a horse.

I was not aware that anyone in Australia actually said "mate". I always thought it was something foreigners made up to mess with us, like barbeque shrimp or dingoes.

This is true. I never use the word mate, except online, when dealing with others. We have a reputation to maintain, after all.
On a vaguely related note I've actually been mistaken for English several times, by many people. Perhaps because I can use words with more than 3 syllables, and they mistake it for "Fancy English speak."
And once someone thought I was American, but that MAY have been because they were an idiot.

"I'm never alone with my solitude."

Georges Moustaki

'A monk told Joshu, "I have just entered the monastery. Please teach me."
Joshu asked, "Have you eaten your rice porridge?
The monk replied, "I have eaten."
Joshu said, "Then you had better wash your bowl."
At that moment the monk was enlightened.'






whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

I think that's to teach you to clean your dishes, you lazy bastard

"You know what I am call back at the ranch? Breed bull."

"Wh...Why?"

"You'll soon know"

I get my parents to wash my dishes. I am too scared I will use too much soap and end up poisoning myself.

You're just......washing dishes. Geez.

Australian dishes.

So you have to contend with baked-on koala burger? Damn.

That's what the rubber gloves are for.

"Imagine if donkeys had gotten a hold of Cocaine in the early days. Christianity would be totally different."

''You want to know what marriage is like? Imagine a prison...then don't change anything.''

Me: Dnd online today at 3:00 or 3:30!
Taco: You mean nowish or 3AM?
Me: Did you really just ask me if dnd was at 3 in the morning
Taco: ..Maybe...

Rare ♥ wrote:Me: Dnd online today at 3:00 or 3:30!
Taco: You mean nowish or 3AM?
Me: Did you really just ask me if dnd was at 3 in the morning
Taco: ..Maybe...

Don't knock it til you try it, sleep deprivation is hilarious.

"Don't worry, I'm so much more normal than my sister. Now get in my bubble bath and feed me olives out of the martini water".

-Very Mary Kate

Which one is the twin? Is it Mary-kate or Ashley?