We're gonna play a little game called "Scenes from a Hat!"

Ninjas don't get spare time - all their time is wisely spent.

Sharpening his pointy ninja objects.

Messing about with Linux...[]

A large castle stands alone, the land on all sides cleared for miles. Spires fill the air, the moon shining through the clouds filtering around them. Sinister noises float down from the top.

Suddenly, movement. Or was it? Yes! There, by the huge statue of some sort of cute, insect-feline creature. Wait, no, it's not there.... There! On the wall! It's climbing directly up! It arrives at a small window, and slips inside. (Without opening it, oddly enough...)


It surveys the room. On the far side, there are large, electrical panels, small lights blinking in various colors, every once and a while, a small buzzer would sound. To the left of him is what appears to be a closet, except rather than clothes, it's filled with electrical parts, legos, and what appears to be moldy Mexican food.

But the shape ignores all of these things. Instead, it focuses to the right, where stands a strange looking machine. It's shaped as though it were a female human, though it's colored differently, and has some sort of strange, yellow chestplate. It is obviously powered off, save for a small, blinking red light on the side of it's head. The light is normally hidden beneath a panel, but it is open now, a small cable plugged into the side of it's head running to the bank of computers on the far side of the room. The man, for, in the dim light given off in the room, it is clearly a man, he walks forwards, towards the robot. He strokes a hand up and down her chestplate, his breath moving faster. "Let's not waste any time." he says in a low, husky voice. He takes out a small shuriken, and sticks one of the points into a small screw slot on the robot's side. He twists and opens it, before prying open her chestplate, the hinges squeeking slightly. He reaches inside and runs his fingers across her motherboard, gently massaging her wiring. He gets to work...


Hours later, as the sun rises outside the window, the man closes the robot up. Her light is blue now, and rather than blinking, it simply stays lit. The ninja, for what else could it be but one of Them, the dark denizens of the night? The ninja stands up, his back creaking in protest. He should have brought a chair. He tightens the screw back into place, before looking back at the machine. She looked so peaceful.... Probably because she didn't have emotions. He smiles, and kisses her brow, before slipping back out of the room, disappearing before the day stole the shadows away.



(Do I win?)

*its []

A good ninja never finishes early!
(ifyouknowwhatImean)

Im actually trying to find a way to make that not be about orgasms.


I can't.

He takes his time eating out clams.

That's not about orgasms
nope

Top Hat Zebra wrote:Im actually trying to find a way to make that not be about orgasms.


I can't.

Maybe it could be about bureacracy?

Number 1.0 is the head bureaucrat at the Central Bureaucracy, and is always seen flying around on a plane/desk. In the year 3000, he ordered Hermes Conrad to finish sorting the master "in" pile by 1:00 P.M. Hermes finished with two seconds to spare but Number 1.0 demoted him by two ranks because a good bureaucrat never finishes early, only to promote him by one rank a few minutes later after Hermes pointed out a fellow bureaucrat had stamped a document four times when it needed to be stamped at least five times (2ACV11).

Jonny gets me.

Scenes from a movie about the Treehouse and its members

(DAMNIT SEMI. I WAS GOING TO REVIVE THIS THREAD.)

Spotlights shine on David.

DAVID: "Yes, it is I, SOMEGUY, leader of the Revolution! I have come to slay you, you skinny, not-sex loving cat thingy!"

Spotlights shine on Christa.

CHRISTA: "Never, you dastardly fiend!" *Fireball shoots out of her fists towards DAVID.*

*DAVID doges fireball*

DAVID: "Not so fast! HYIAA" *DAVID punches CHRISTA in the breasts*

CHRISTA: "OW! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?!?!"

DAVID: "Because I must have you!" *In a growl*

CHRISTA: "Oh, Someguy...."

The two lovers/enemies then collapse onto the ground, dart piercing their necks.

A being steps out of the shadows, his face still covered.

BEING: "And now, I shall crush the Revolution, AND the Beecat Empire! For it is I, SMEI THE GRAND KHAN!"


End scene with dramatic lightning and laughter.

Top Hat Zebra wrote:(DAMNIT SEMI. I WAS GOING TO REVIVE THIS THREAD.)

Spotlights shine on David.

DAVID: "Yes, it is I, SOMEGUY, leader of the Revolution! I have come to slay you, you skinny, not-sex loving cat thingy!"

Spotlights shine on Christa.

CHRISTA: "Never, you dastardly fiend!" *Fireball shoots out of her fists towards DAVID.*

*DAVID doges fireball*

DAVID: "Not so fast! HYIAA" *DAVID punches CHRISTA in the breasts*

CHRISTA: "OW! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?!?!"

DAVID: "Because I must have you!" *In a growl*

CHRISTA: "Oh, Someguy...."

The two lovers/enemies then collapse onto the ground, dart piercing their necks.

A being steps out of the shadows, his face still covered.

BEING: "And now, I shall crush the Revolution, AND the Beecat Empire! For it is I, SMEI THE GRAND KHAN!"


End scene with dramatic lightning and laughter.

Alright, next scene. Nothing can top this

*BUZZER*


"Most inappropriate things to say when meeting your lover's parents."

How about "you changed scenes too fast, you vapid whores"

"Hi. I'm from the Internet."

"Hi, sorry I knocked up your daughter"
...
"No the other one"

Of course I do, I'm the Intelligence Sphere.

That makes sense, I think.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of your daughter. I have one myself."

Rest assured sir. I will not lay a finger on your daughter's panties. Not even that really silky lacey pair that she's got.

I have licked your daughter's nipples.
(okay maybe I stole that a little)

She looks just like me when I was her age!

What reality TV stars do when no one is looking.

Comparatively little.

Man, I've turned into the Anti-Joke Chicken.

"These cameras on? I'm gonna go take a poop! Turn the cameras on!" []